In the panoply of life's great disappointments Pete Kremen's state of the county reading last Tuesday ranked no higher than his other disappointing attempts to address the county's future.He's no more clue this year than last, when he told us how rosy things were, only to announce a deficit of some five million dollars a few days later. But that's what keeps getting him re-elected. Telling folks what they want to believe.
Is everyone living in a state of denial? No some, of course, are living in a state of ignorance. Without which, Kremen's repeated re-election could not happen. It's hard to decide who is dumb and dumber; Dewey for writing such an inane fluff piece, or Pete for reading it.
Their message: the problems are national, we're not as bad off as others and, hey, we got two really neat new parks. And not to worry. The Kremen administration was preparing for present events, even if they didn't tell us last year.
According to Pete, through vision and foresight, they failed to find anyone to replace employees who retired, or just got sick of it and quit. Now isn't it fortunate attrition and resignations were, coincidentally, in just those areas the county had no personnel needs. Are we to believe we lost the worst, and the best have stayed?
And amazingly, somehow, the folks left still got the work done. Oh, it was nothing short of heroic, says Kremen, slathering on the BS for the union reps. No, Pete is really the master manager. Maybe it's not denial. Maybe it's delusion.
We may not have been able to restore long range planning to a credible level. The planning department might not be able to provide the County Council or Planning Commission with thoughtful or coherent advise on ordinances any more. But we do have plenty of clerks at the counter if anybody ever wants to apply for a building permit again. And don't forget those two neat new parks.
Ah, how deftly the invisible hand of attrition steers the ship of state. Pete convinced me. Attrition and serendipity work so well, why do we even need an executive and his overpaid crew?
The solution: 40 hours less this year and next and don't replace anyone who quits or retires.
But we certainly can't have any layoffs. We'll just wait for the deadwood to drift away. It would certainly be unfair to lay off unneeded employees in order to hire the ones we need. We're going to have “furloughs” not “layoffs.”
I missed the part about Kremen resetting his salary to its former level; giving up some of the 20+ percent raise. But he does set some kind of an example, he's on furlough most all the time. Or maybe he's out admiring those great parks.
But I didn't miss the big crowd pleaser, meant to make us feel good even though one in five can't find enough work. Boy oh boy, did we ever get some swell parks this past year. Hey all you green goof balls. Ain't that great! Ignore the sprawl. Ignore the fouled lake. Ignore the subdivisions choking the ag lands. You want economic development? Check out those parks!
And closing on that feel good blather, our own Great Leader tells us to forget about unemployment; not to worry about inflated prices for groceries and about everything else next year; taxes that won't go down anything like the equity in our homes, and a budget that will only be balanced by making services even poorer than they are now. Get out there and enjoy them parks!
Don't worry you fat cats. Pete won't let you down. You can rely on county policy continuing to be crafted to make you wealthier as long as you can keep him in office. Because one thing Pete and his legal boys know how to do is read those regulations (or not read em or change em if necessary) to keep your cash flowin'. And sellin' the envirophiles on more swell parks.
He may not be able to deliver much of a speech, but he can deliver for you. And there won't be any of that attrition in the institutionalized campaign. Old Joe Bates'll keep trying to spread the bull over the real problems.
Is anyone wondering what will happen to services or taxes as the deflated housing market turns even more gruesome and property values a couple years from now are half what they were in 2006? Well the demand for services will just keep costing more. Almost six million for one stop light at Pole and Hannegan. Some three million for a quarter mile of road on Yew Street. It ain't gonna stop.
No, what's been missing for years is a leader who faces up to problems and addresses the real issues. Not one on a constant campaign. What a bunch of hokum, always patting yourself on the back for not raising tax rates.
The fact is, county government became addicted to growth. Growth provided ever increasing revenues and allowed a lazy administration to slide on management for years. Population swelled and developers sprawled out where farmers and foresters once worked. Government swelled because no one had the guts to demand it be efficient.
Kremen et al simply didn't understand how time slipped past them and never got around to crafting a smaller and more efficient government that we'd be able to afford when the bubble inevitably burst.
Instead they got hooked on new revenues they should have earmarked for future needs growth demands.
Now they want to slide out of office and leave the mess. Come on. We need to tackle this mess now, and with more than platitudes, and the hope that the right people will leave or retire. It's time to run things. Not run away.
You had to love Pete's rhetorical wind up though. Turning the metaphor and going back to the feel good message, those swell new parks, he told us, like the wonderful paths the county bets will keep us off the road to ruin, the trail ahead “may be a steep one, but what wonderful new vistas lie ahead.”
Probably true if you're the guy that just creamed off the retirement package he did.
I expect he finished with the shining city on the hill stuff, but I can't say because I had to rush outside and puke.
Happy trails to you … until we meet again …
