Red Light, Green Light, Mean Light Tween Lights

The city's plan to introduce surveillance cameras in Bellingham intersections has met with strong, bipartisan opposition.

And so it should. It is a sorry reminder of the changing times, where the public is looked upon as a mere revenue source and special interests use government to extract undeserved profits from the governed.

The cynical part is the cover story, this is about safety, when ample alternatives avail themselves for that purpose, but none, perhaps, with the added revenue kicker for the city and its partners.

Intersections would be safer, and fewer side impact collisions would be likely, if the city merely further delayed the interval between red lights and green lights. Rather than one light turning green at the end of the yellow, wait longer, even after the light is red one direction, before turning it green for traffic coming from the other.

But, I know, few tickets would be issued in that scenario. The fact is this is really all about revenue, the city's and their partners.

And what wonderful partners they have chosen. American Traffic Solutions is an Arizona based corporation touting themselves as providers of traffic safety equipment. Perhaps attracted by that concern for the public, in 2008, Goldman Sachs invested heavily in the company and helped take it national; certainly in an honest effort to bring innovative safety measures to every American. That's the philosophy at Goldman Sachs.

Citizens of Bellingham, and passers through, foolish enough to frequent a downtown already plagued by the parking gestapo, will surely be pleased to contribute to the financially beleaguered masters of the universe while simultaneously paying into the police guild who will, ostensibly, have one of their own watching the cameras over coffee and donuts, and deciding if you should make a contribution to their retirement fund.

How any politician with a lick of sense would want to take ownership of such a scheme defies explanation. Perhaps it's just their being possessed by such nonsense that makes it easy for the pitchmen for the Goldman Sachs' franchise to get at the public.

But the push-back from all shades on the political spectrum, from liberals to libertarians and from Republicans and Democrats alike, has come quickly. An initiative to remove the devices is well on its way to certification. And a bipartisan bill has been filed in the legislature to keep the scam from spreading across the state.

But Bellingham's mayor, with plenty of support from the city council, pushes on. They can't seem to get the smell of money out of their noses.

For a guy I once thought had pretty good political instincts, Pike has really lost it on this one; and in an election year nonetheless. How he thinks he will win friends snatching their wallets is beyond me.

Characterizing every distracted mother misjudging intersection timing as scofflaws and public enemies is not the road to reelection.

If the mayor and the council come to their senses they'll run away from this Orwellian nightmare post-haste; at least not implement the program until some formal public support was shown for the same.

If Pike can convince the voters that this is the only way to ensure their safety, and their safety is more important than protecting them from such intrusion by Big Brother; god bless 'em!

Perhaps Franklin said it best, "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

g.h.kirsch: Let's Shoot the Messenger

The word's come down from on high: Planning Director David Stalheim can't seem to get the message right. And so, you can expect Pete will have to send him packin' like poor old Hal Hart.

You gotta feel sorry for David. He's really stuck between the proverbial rock and the hard place.

On one hand, he tells Pete's pals what they want to hear and looks like a fool to his peers in the planning profession. Or, he feigns ignorance and gets blamed when the county gets called for gaming the system.

Remember the little business where Pete had Planning draw that big ole LAMIRD on Squalicum Mountain to include his property and finesse zoning? That went over real good!

I still remember Pete squealin' when it was caught; how it cost him a million bucks. Then he bragged how he'd get reelected and make up for it. I didn't realize it then, he must have already figured out the tricky little move that got him that big raise.

To his credit, Stalheim has pulled the Planning Department back together after the last shooting. They are actually getting things done. But he's been unable to tell the guys who count what they want to hear. So, Pete and Dewey are spreading the word, season's open for planning directors.

Now I confess, after the Hart massacre, I heaped a lot of derision on Stalheim. But heck, it was pretty obvious Pete and his pals went shoppin for someone who'd get the message right.

Trouble is, that's what they got! It's just hard to find anyone who can read who's gonna tell 'em what they want to hear.

The really rich part, is watchin' all these local land abuse attorneys takin' money from these fools who believe, just cuz they can buy the county council, and buy the county executive, they're supposed to have it their way.

These scissorbills got a pretty good thing goin'; keep tellin' these fools to sue and send the checks. Seems there's a sucker born every minute, and a whole bar ready to take 'em.

So now these guys have told their boy Pete, in no uncertain words, to get the message to Stalheim.

But ya know what kinda takes the humor out of the whole thing? How much it's costin us to defend ourselves from these greedy bastards.

It's a real double bind. We eat the legal expense, and time for county employees to respond to all these lawsuits they cook up; or we end up eatin' all the costs of providin' the infrastructure and services their little projects entail.

It's almost more than a simple fella can comprehend.

Well I guess the best we can do is minimize our losses, and just say thanks to Pete's pals the only way we can. I say it's open season on county executives.

Let's shoot the messenger.

g.h.kirsch: Who Are The Clowns ?

Obama's bozos, Geithner and Summers, were bringin' it as only they can last week.

The brain trust was front and center with their usual prescription for recovery and restoration of economic security: turn over the treasury to the lords of Wall Street, put it on the taxpayers' credit card, and lie, lie, lie, (with statistics of course.)

Speaking Thursday, Geithner insisted "if the bank rescue of 2008-09 had been handled in any other way – for example, being tougher on bankers – the costs to the real economy would have been substantially higher."  (Hey, this guy knows where he'll be working next!)

MIT Professor and former chief economist for the IMF, Simon Johnson, found it impossible to believe that the government could not have been tougher on banks and bankers in spring 2009.

Johnson wrote, "The idea that every failed top banker needed to keep his job – and that every director of a failed bank needed to stay in place – is simply preposterous."

"All those people should have had their contracts broken and their bonuses clawed back to the full extent possible. Losing personal money is the only thing that modern American financial executives ultimately understand."

Mr. Johnson recalled Larry Summers, in a lecture to the American Economic Association in 2000, saying, “It is certain that a healthy financial system cannot be built on the expectation of bailouts.”

Nonetheless, Geithner is quietly pushing Bailout, The Sequel; trading these banks' worthless paper (even second mortgages on properties underwater on their firsts) for government guaranteed (that would be us taxpayers) instruments.

And what of the prospects for meaningful reform of the banking system that brought us to our knees, and wreaked havoc on the lives of countless Americans? 

Like the prospects of a bill that would have addressed the real issues in health-care, the administration, and the Democrats, will turn a mountain into a mole hill.  Do you really think Chris Dodd is going to jeopardize a seat on Goldman-Sach's board?

The problem is, these same bankers were critical and influential contributors to Obama's campaign.  Money gets honey!  So when you hear their boy Timmy tell us, "The president’s not gonna sign a bill that doesn’t have strong enough teeth." understand, it's a lullaby.  Go to sleep, go to sleep, your interests we'll keep.

Again, Simon Johnson offers a more objective view, "Geithner is completely wrong if he thinks it has teeth.  There is simply nothing there that will rein in our largest financial institutions – and you can see this in the financial markets.   The biggest and most dangerous elements of Wall Street have taken over Washington."  (No job for you with Jamie Dimon, Mr. Simon!)

But for me, the capper is this clown Summers.  After decades of prostituting himself where he might, and enjoying a position to easily see the steady, downward drift of our economic health, he's still willing to just keep bullshitting us.  But not just run of the mill bullshit; really great bullshit!

On Sunday Larry provided a real lesson in what is wrong with these people.  They are not interested in dealing with the problems, it is all about obscuring them to perpetuate their temporary grasp on power and the privileges with which these fat cats are blessed .

Asked why, with alleged growth in jobs recently, there is no related decline in unemployment, he actually gave up the statistical fraud being run on the electorate. 

He actually allowed that those whose unemployment had run out, the under-employed, and others who have given up trying to find work, are not counted in the almost 10% "official" unemployment rate.

This is in keeping with economist Paul Craig Roberts' recent appraisal that, if we applied the same measure used in 1981, actual unemployment would be above 20%; approaching levels seen during the Great Depression.

No, Summers explained, if people who are not working begin to look for work, we can not expect unemployment numbers to fall any time soon. 

Yes, that's right.  If these people would just not look for work, we will eventually reach 0% unemployment without having to create any jobs.

You gotta love statistics.  Problem, what problem?  Here, let me show you why you haven't got a problem.

So, who are the clowns?  Well, these two aren't missing any meals.  Their bank accounts continue to swell.  Their friends are doing fine, no matter how much they lose.  And their friends will take care of them when the time comes.

No, we are the clowns.  We might as well paint on a smile and go out on the street with a tin cup. 

We have come to a point where there is just one political party, the Plutocrats.  Sure they have two denominations, sort of like the Episcopalians and Presbyterians.

  Big deal, they worship the same god.

Don't Put No Lipstick On This Piggy

After last weeks revelations from West Hollywood, that treasured Republicans, known as Young Eagles, have an unhealthy interest in certain women's issues, RNC chairman Michael Steele has gone to great lengths to present a more staid image than these affluent young donors.

Steele was seen Friday returning numerous items, bras, teddies, and an extraordinary variety of boyshorts, to Victoria's Secret. He was later seen at J.C. Penney purchasing a six pack of granny panties, and a Republican plain cloth coat.

Stung by criticism of his lavish style, private jets and Hawaiian rendezvous, climbing on a Greyhound in downtown Washington, Steele announced that the Republican Central Committee would hold their quarterly meeting at the Capital Heights Motel 6.

Observers find Steele's transformation a little strange and hard to believe. Confronted, Steele's response was, "Strange, you want strange? I do strange."

Interviewed on The Glenn Beck Show, Tea Party darling and former Miss Wasilla, Sarah Palin was critical of Steele's hair. But Palin allowed she, "kinda liked the changey thing."

"If he really wants to sell this, he's gotta get a better hairdresser. I recommend the guy Grampa John hired for me. And hey, I know some great places to shop. Ya know, clothes don't just make the man!"

Beck disagreed. He recommended Steele switch to Butchwax.

Listeners tuning in to Rush Limbaugh's daily radio program were treated to an unusual moment when the host, missing the On Air signal, commented he thought Steele was "hot, but would probably bring over a grand in rubber."

Former Young Eagles director, Allison Meyers, fired by the RNC, had some advice for party chairman Steele. "If he's going to go for it, he's got to get down. You aren't going to raise classical money without a little more skin and a lot more action."

But the biggest surprise to come out of Republican headquarters this week was the announcement that celebrity transvestite RuPaul will be Steele's new assistant and replace Meyers with the Young Eagles.

Questioned by reporters, the new aide encouraged his boss. "Look at me--a big old black man under all of this makeup, and if I can look beautiful, so can you."

Challenged that Steele's new image would not be accepted by mainstream Republicans, the flamboyant aide opined, "We all came into this world naked. The rest is all drag."

"All sins are forgiven once you start making a lot of money."

A message that will have the ring of truth for many Republicans.


May B. Fine; Assoc. Editor, The New Standard

May B. Fine: Happy Days Are Here Again!

Parts of the economy are staging a turnaround. While housing and employment numbers tank, the good news is a leading indicator of future economic well being has turned positive.

Away from my usual post at the nation's capitol, I'm here today at the English Motoring Ltd. dealership on Long Island. The good news is deposits on Bentley's 2010 Continental series are breaking all records.

In particular, orders for the convertible model are out pacing the coupe two to one; which sales associates at English Motoring attribute to their clients' appreciation of global warming, in spite of record low temperatures and ongoing episodes of snow and freezing rains. A brighter day is just around the corner.

The upturn in car sales here seems to be driven by the government's efforts and future plans to stimulate the economy. In particular, the Wall Street bailout and more than $18 billion in resulting bonuses to executives and associates at otherwise bankrupt investment banks and brokerage firms really has provided the silver lining needed to restore confidence. The system is still working.

"Continuation of the Bush era tax cuts, and the prospect of new breaks and subsidies for the fortunate at the top of the pyramid, have not just put a twinkle in the eye again, but thankfully some sparkle on the ears and fingers," according to Jon Fraberg at Goldstein's Jewelers.

At Barrons, the upscale martini bar about a block from English Motoring, I stopped one of the regulars, Clifton Chase Morgan-Stanley Jr. on his way to the restroom and asked what he saw for the future. "There's nothing wrong with the financial system that Treasury can't fix if they just remember who sent them there. Trickle down economics is the mainstay of our economy. Excuse me. I've got to do my part."

Back at the dealership, Shirley Gottrachs told this reporter that if it hadn't been for the bailout, not only would they have been unable to afford to replace their two year old Bentley Cornice, they were facing laying off a maid and the butler at their Hampton's weekend retreat. “We were ready to make the sacrifice. But with the reduction in servants, we truly were beginning to appreciate just how dire our nation's predicament was becoming.”

Another customer, Bradley Gottmien III and his wife Buffie just purchased identical Austin Mini-Coopers for their twin sixteen year olds. “We wanted to instill a sense of environmental responsibility in the twins, and introduce them to this era of making do with less. No Jaguars for our boys.”

So in spite of disconcerting reports of economic difficulties for some, parts of the economy are getting back on track. While the poor may be getting poorer, the good news is the rich are again getting richer.


May B. Fine; Assoc. Editor, The New Standard

May B. Fine:A War for Jobs

The stock market rallied today after the President, in the role of Commander in Chief, announced the military services will be hiring six hundred thousand to one million in his ongoing effort to stimulate the economy and put America's unemployed back to work. He has named his new program, “The War on Unemployment.”

In order to maintain the necessary level of occupying forces in Iraq, and fulfill his campaign pledge to bring the war to Afghanistan, he said the additional forces are critical. “We intend to be prepared, unlike my predecessor, to see that we have the soldiers to keep the peace after the mission's accomplished in Afghanistan.”

The prospect of four more years of Bush foreign policy caused stocks to surge.

The President again likened himself to Franklin Roosevelt, noting the latter's strategic effort to engage the US in World War II, and the fact that it took that war to bring the country out of the Great Depression. “I am prepared to go any distance, create any enemy and spend any amount to restore this nation to the position it was in at the end of the twentieth century.”

The market rally was led by Lockheed, McDonnell-Douglas, Grumman and Boeing. In small cap stocks, the relatively unknown American Casket Co. shot up almost 400%. Analysts attribute the sharp rise to the adopted slogan for the “War on Unemployment,” reprised from the popular song of the 1960s, “Be the first one on your block to have your boy come home in a box.”

Challenged by unruly reporters that his economic stimulus program, stalled in Congress, was too little too late and benefited too few, the Commander in Chief shot back, “You want World War III. I'll give you World War III.”


May B. Fine. Assoc. Editor The New Standard
C. Nowell Eavel and Annie Price contributed to this story.